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Question:
Salaams
I need advice. Am I wrong for disobeying my parents wishes for me to finish school.
I really wanted to do Aalima course but that came with a lot of hardship, (leaving the house and such), my dad wasn’t for the idea (me doing Aalima) and said he will only allow me to do Aalima if I do it with school. So I was forced to sign up for school, I tried to do school but it was very challenging and just the thought of it was very mentally and emotionally draining. Just thinking about school would make me cry.
So with the May June exams in play, I decided to not do the exam.
Firstly it was during madressa hours and I didn’t want to miss. (I would have been allowed to had I asked) Secondly I just really didn’t want to do it. I wasn’t prepared for it at all.
I’ve done only a minute amount of schoolwork.
My mom’s thinking about deregistering me, which is what I want, but I don’t know what to tell my dad. My mom says I’m selfish. Because she found an institute that was very flexible and where I could space my matric over 2 years. I feel so bad after having this conversation on the phone with my mom today. I feel like I’m disobeying them, like I’m letting them down, going against their wishes. But my opinions towards school hasn’t changed.I am yet to see them this week.
Am I wrong for disobeying my parents?
Answer:
As salām ʿalaikum wa raḥmatullāhī wa barakātuhu
In the Name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Sister in Islām,
It is indeed a noble endeavour to pursue Islamic knowledge. The aḥādīth are replete with glad tidings for those who engage in the study of ʿilm. At the same time, respecting one’s parents wishes is something the sharīʿah has stressed on greatly. Whilst pursuing the ʿālimiyyah course holds virtue, respecting the wishes of one’s parents, in that which does not go against the sharīʿah, takes precedence.
Sister, if you have no interest is completing your secular studies and wish to engage yourself solely in your ʿālimiyyah studies, you should turn to Allāh Taʿālā in fervent duʿā so that He may open the way for you.
A tried and tested method to soften hearts is to recite Sūrah al-Taḥrīm.
Our advice to you is to recite Sūrah al-Taḥrīm every evening and engage in much duʿā for Allāh Taʿālā to open and ease the path of knowledge for you. You should then have an open, honest, and respectful conversation with your parents and explain to them your desire.
If your parents do not agree, you should heed their advice and complete your schooling online over two years as they have advised whilst continuing to make much effort in your ʿālimiyyah studies.
May Allāh Taʿālā assist and guide you in your pursuit of knowledge.
And Allāh Taʿālā knows best.