6829 – 0155
Question:
السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُه. mufti I would like an in depth discussion on the purpose of marriage for women if her spouse is not financially, emotionally & physically fulfilling her needs & she is able to (& has been) providing for herself, does she need to stay in the marriage? PS: I’ve shown love,kindness,mercy already but nothing in return for me.
Answer:
As salām ʿalaikum wa raḥmatullāhī wa barakātuhu
In the Name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Sister in Islām,
We take note of your concerns. We make dua Allāh Taʿālā grant you the courage and strength to overcome these personal and sensitive issue.
First and foremost, speak to your husband. Most marital issues are resolved by healthy and effective communication. Explain to your husband the difficulty you are facing and that the current situation is affecting you negatively and placing a strain on the marriage. Once he is on the same page as you and realizes your discontentment in the marital relationship, you may propose steps in the right direction.
If after adhering to the above, there remains no change, we recommend marital counselling for you and your husband. Emphasize the need for it to your husband and take appropriate steps towards it. Enter these counselling sessions with an open mind to make any amends to fix the marriage seeking the pleasure of Allāh Taʿālā.
If you see any shortcomings on your side, then make sure that you recognize it, apologize to your partner for being negligent in it and make a firm intention to resolve it.
If this avenue too brings you no joy, we recommend you speak to a senior person who your husband holds in high esteem of the challenges you are facing. He may be able to advise and exert pressure on your husband to fulfil his responsibilities towards you.
If after having exhausted all options in fixing your marriage, nothing changes and your physical and financial needs are not being met, you should make Istikhārah and ask Allāh to guide you and give you strength and courage to stand up for your rights. You do not have to live in suppression and oppression.
After having made Istikhārah, you should inform your family that you have made Istikhārah and that you wish to take action and you need their support.
You should then inform your husband that you have endured too much and now want relief. If he still does not wish to fulfil your rights, then you may request him to issue you a Ṭalāq.
Sister, in the meantime turn to Allāh for guidance and assistance. Place your matters in His hands and ask Him to bless your marriage.
And Allāh Taʿālā knows best.