6829 – 0150
Question:
Assalamualaykum
Respected Moulana
Is it permissible for a female after her iddah to remain in the town she was married in. She has a teaching post as well as housing. Housing will be in a shared property with a muslim family, if safety is of concern.
She does have parents but due to the abusive environment(although no longer physical there is still emotional and mental abuse alot of tension,swearing,uncertainty,control and an overall toxic environment.The individual still experiences trauma and anxiety when going to her parents.The extend of the abuse can be seen in the mental health of other family members who have been previousyl admitted to psychiatric wards/hospitals for multiple reasosn including nervous break downs,bipolar disorder,depression,sucidal thoughts,ocd,eating disorders etc and currently still on sleeping tablets,anti depressants and other medication to help with brain and mental imbalancess) she would feel more safe remaining where she is currently sitting her iddah.
Her father is insisting she returns to live with her parents.
The father initially agreed to give her separate accommodation on condition she gives up her current teaching post which she had done and now he has gone against his word.
To my knowledge a female is allowed to re marry without the consent of her wakeel does this enable her to make all other decisions within the boundaries of Shariah by herself or does she now after iddah require the permission of her father ?
Kindly pass fatwa based on permissiblity according to Shariah and not based on advise or individual opinions
Answer:
As salām ʿalaikum wa raḥmatullāhī wa barakātuhu
In the Name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Sister in Islām,
At times, the manner in which parents they show their love and concern may not be how we want them to show love and concern. When they express their love, it can sometimes come across as controlling, especially when it doesn’t fit into our worldview. If we try to put ourselves in their shoes, we might see the wisdom of their advice and the concern they carry. Parents are generally uneasy with their daughters living alone, more so in our current climate of crime in South Africa.
We advise the sister to hear her parents out with an open mind and heart, and genuinely consider their concerns. If she still feels that she would like to stay away from them, she should try to win them over with love and bring them onboard with her decision. Presenting a fatwā of permissibility to them will not engender familial affinity, it will only cause hurt and pain. Shutting one’s parents out in this way will lead to heartache in the long term.
Sister, in principle, it is permissible for a female to remain in the town she was married in after her ʿiddah.
We make duʿā to Allāh Taʿālā that He grant love and understanding between the family and that He cure all those in the family who are suffering from illnesses, both physiological and psychological. Āmīn.
And Allāh Taʿālā knows best.
العناية شرح الهداية — أكمل الدين، محمد بن محمد بن محمود البابرتي (ت ٧٨٦ هـ) 257/3
أنها تصرفت في خالص حقها وهي من أهله لكونها عاقلة مميزة، ولهذا كان لها التصرف في المال ولها اختيار الأزواج) بالاتفاق، وكل تصرف هذا شأنه فهو جائز بلا خلاف فإن قلت: لا نسلم أنها تصرفت في خالص حقها بل في حق تعلق به حق الأولياء ولهذا لا يجوز إذا لم يكن بكفء. في رواية. قلت: لا فرق في ظاهر الرواية فلا يرد عليه، وأما على رواية الحسن عن أبي حنيفة فالجواب أن المراد بخالص حقها ما كان من الموضوعات الأصلية التي تترتب على النكاح من تمليك منافع بضعها واستيجاب المهر والنفقة والكسوة والسكنى ونحوها، وكل ذلك خالص حقها فلا يعتبر بالعارض من لحوق العار للأولياء