6829 – 0022
Question:
Aslm wrbt
I’m not sure if it’s allowed to post a question here but really wanted clarity on a certain matter as I have no clue..
A lady contacted me saying that her husband announced to her that he would like to get married again …she knows it’s allowed and doesn’t still want to go into the details of it and agreed…but her question now is ..
Is it allowed for her husband to talk about his intention to her most of the day, everyday
Like with everything that the 2 of them do together now then he mentions to her his niyyah about second marriage
He claims he is making her aware of the fact but she feels it’s so disrespecting to her feelings, their relationship, aswel as to her emotional state
He even have someone in mind and even refer to this particular person to her aswel
Pleas advice if able inshaAllah
SHUKRAN
UMM MUHAMMADAYN
Answer:
As salām ʿalaikum wa raḥmatullāhī wa barakātuhū
In the Name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Respected Sister,
The system of Allāh Taʿālā allows for a unique equilibrium within the social lives of humanity. Part of this system, for those who are able to bear the responsibilities and fulfil the rights of equality, is the institute of polygyny.
Marriages, whether monogamous or polygynous, present themselves with challenges that can be daunting. An easy way to navigate these challenges is by seeking the counsel of those who are experienced and wise.
Within our socio-cultural space polygynous marriages hold natural sensitivities for both the existing spouse and the subsequent spouse. Islām advocates for a harmonious relationship as far as possible which excludes causing uncalled for and unnecessary physical, verbal, and emotional hurt.
Sister, if this is a true reflection of the situation, the husband is causing untold stress and emotional harm to his existing spouse by constantly discussing his intent to marry.
Taking into consideration that our guidance is not exhaustive and there are a number of additional factors to be cognizant of, we advise to him to seek the counsel of an individual who is capable of assisting him in navigating through this challenging part of his life. Further, since he has made his intent clear and the sister had agreed to it, he should not discuss it constantly. Instead, he should use this time to show her love, care, and appreciation in order to build her self-confidence and emotional strength.
And Allāh Taʿālā knows best.