6829 – 0014
Question:
Assalaam o alikum warahmatulahi wabarakatu,
May Allah reward the person or person responding to this email with afiyah khair and baraqah in all aspects of their lives and in akhirah. Ameen
Could you please help me with the authentic hadith about Muslims going to non Muslims birthday please?
I am a reverts and a close family member a born muslim wants to go to a non Muslims birthday with their own family.
I dont know what to do when a husband takes his family to such events where there is alcohol, woman and men mixing freely. The wife has spoken to him that its not allowed but he uses dawah as an excuse to go. The wife is made to look like a jealouse and unreasonable wife because she does not want them to go to such events.
The non Muslim is a divorced older woman who is the husband’s important colleague.
Jazakallah khairan
Answer:
As salām ʿalaikum wa raḥmatullāhī wa barakātuhū
In the Name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Respected sister,
When we look at the lives of Rasūlullāh r and Ṣahābah y we find no mention of celebrating birthdays. Celebrating birthdays, spending large amounts of money on entertainment, and merry making is the way of the disbelievers. We have been cautioned by Rasūlullāh r from adopting the practices of non-Muslims. Consider the following ḥadīth:
مَنْ تَشَبَّهَ بِقَوْمٍ فَهُوَ مِنْهُمْ
Translation:
Whosoever emulates a nation is amongst them.
(Sunan Abū Dāwūd 4/44)
We have been advised that a male attends events of a non-Muslim female colleague wherein there is alcohol intermingling of men and women. The individual in question also takes his family to such events and his wife is deemed to be jealous and unreasonable for not wanting to attend. In order to attend such events, he uses the excuse of daʿwah.
Sister in Islam,
If this is a true reflection of the situation, then the behaviour of the individual under discussion is indeed deplorable. It is impermissible to attend such events. Taking one’s family to such events is an even worse act as it would involve sinning and involving others in sin as well.
Attending such gathering with the excuse of daʿwah does not make it any less detestable.
If one has the zeal and fervour for daʿwah, one should join the activities of the tablīgh jamāʿah.
Our advice is to reach out to someone of good conduct and sound knowledge who the individual in question holds in high esteem and apprise them of the situation. Perhaps through the advice of such a person, much change would come. Further, turn to Allah U and make duʿā for the guidance of this person.
And Allāh Taʿālā knows best.
منحة السلوك في شرح تحفة الملوك — أبو محمد محمود بن أحمد بن موسى بن أحمد بن حسين الغيتابى الحنفى بدر الدين العينى (ت ٨٥٥هـ) 112-110/4
ومن دُعيَ إلى ضيافة، فوجد ثمَّ لعبًا، أو غناءً يقعد إن كان غير قدوةٍ، ويمنعُ إن قدر. وإن كان قدوةً كالقاضي، والمفتي، ونحوهما، يمنعُ ويقعدُ، فإن عَجَزَ يخرج. وإن كان ذلك على المائدة، أو كانوا يشربون الخمر، خرج وإن لم يكن قُدوةً. وإن عَلِم قبل الحضور لا يحضر في الوجوه كلها